This is one of those posts that have sat in my drafts for some time. I kept on going back and forth to it but never quite got on with it. I just left it there for a time when I was ready to write it, and I think that time has come.
Those of you that know me, will know that we have been going through an assessment for our youngest boy and we’ve recently had the results that my little man is indeed autistic.
As most of you know, I homeschool our beautiful boys and have done so for years, so I get to have my children at home with me every day. We knew that Joben wasn’t quite hitting his milestones, his speech delay was still an ongoing thing and his behaviour in many ways raised a red flag to us.
Joben has regular meltdowns and when he goes he goes! There is only Craig and I who can calm him down to a level where he doesn’t hurt himself. His grandparents simply wouldn’t be able to deal with the meltdowns, because only a small thing like making eye contact when he doesn’t want to, is enough to push him over the edge.
And then there’s the hazard perception. Joben has little fear factor and wouldn’t think twice of touching an iron when it’s on, so I am always extremely vigilant when it comes to safety around the home.
Once we had got our referral it was simply a waiting game. The MPFT was already inundated with appointments and then COVID made the circumstances even worse. It was then we were offered an assessment at Caudwell Children, knowing these guys have an amazing reputation and wanting to get the ball rolling we snapped up our place immediately. What a fab decision that was. The team are such a friendly bunch and really understand how emotional this can all get for parents.
After Joben was observed by each team member, from a doctor, occupational therapist, speech and language specialist and so on, they came to the conclusion that Joben is without a doubt on the autism spectrum. They all commented on how happy and content he is and said that it was evident that we are already providing everything possible for Joben’s needs, he enjoys his home-ed with his brother and has a very loving and supportive family.
Even though we knew deep down that Joben showed signs of autism, it’s still quite emotional to hear it from someone else. The team sat with Craig and I and went through the whole report with us from start to finish. They left nothing uncovered and answered all of our questions. They were truly amazing throughout the assessment and the diagnosis.
We have 10 months of ongoing support with the team which is nice to know is in place should we need it. I know too well how overwhelming things can get and I can’t urge you enough to get the ball rolling for an assessment if you think your child may be autistic. It’s not judgy, nor about labeling your child, it’s about support and having a team that totally understands.
Autism does not define my boy. He’s still the same cheeky and lovable little man that he was before his diagnosis. He may see the world in a slightly different way, but what a wonderful way that is!
I will probably go on to write some more posts on how we noticed the signs that pointed to autism and what we thought of some pretty odd responses from others when telling them of Joben’s autism! But that’s for another day.
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I’m so glad you are getting the support you need. One of my besties was in this position a couple of years ago. I know she was reluctant to go through the assessment, in case it caused more problems than it solved. She has great support now. You are so right that it doesn’t change Joben, as he will still be loveable and cheeky. #mmbc
Oh, I’m so glad you were supported by the team and now will get ongoing help if you need it. As an autistic adult (diagnosed at age 20 because my parents are in denial), I totally appreciate parents seeking the right diagnosis and support for their atypical children. I agree it’s not about labeling your child or you being a bad parent or anything. Rather, I wish my parents had sought the help they obviously needed raising me as a child rather than struggling on, which harmed both them and me. Your love for Joben shines off this post!
Aw, thanks Astrid for your lovely comment. I’m sorry you didn’t get the support you needed as a child. You should be very proud of yourself though. You have dealt with so much and continue to stay positive. Stay strong!
Even if deep down you know, it is still hard when someone else diagnoses your child. You know we went through getting Ellie assesed and it turned out not to be Autism but it is overwhelming. It doesn’t change the amazing boy that he is though.
It sounds like the team were an amazing help. Sending love and hugs! x
Thanks so much lovely. That means a lot.
The team were brilliant and so caring.
I do remember Ellie having to go through it, she is such a star. x
Such a brave post. I am so pleased that you say you are getting all the support you need x
10 months ongoing support sounds awesome and it sounds like you really trust the centre to help you as well as Joben :o)
#MMBC
This is really interesting read for me as my daughter who is 10 has just started the process and it’s all very overwhelming, so it is always nice to read other blogs like this because you do feel quiet alone in the process as a parent and child, it’s nice to hear you are being supported as unfortunately this isn’t aways the case. X
Some diagnosis are not as clear cut as others
It is all just labels in the end, and you’re so right, it doesn’t define your son. The label is just there to give him access to the extra help you or him might need.
I am not autistic but was labelled with so many mental health terms due to my depression and eating disorder but I did not have the right support from my parents. In fact, I was made homeless at the age of 18 and only in recent years reconcile with them. Throw into homeless shelters, psychiatric wards and support housing, that was when I started to use these labels to define me and I almost gave in to every stereotype of those terms. I felt doomed.
It was only when I met my husband when I realised I was more than those words and I could do and be anything I want to just like anyone else. I would just do it a little bit more differently compared to the majority and maybe with a little more help. But we all need a little help sometimes
What an enlightening and heartening post. So pleased you moved it out of drafts and shared it with your followers.
Can be a mnidfield full of frustration – my friend is going through the process and coming up against so many brick walls
Brilliant article. Wish I’d known about this when my son was young, it seems we are both autistic but it’s so much harder to get an assessment as adults.
My boys are autistic too. It’s such a fight to get the support they need!
Granson Sonny is Autistic interesting article.