*This is a collaborative post.
The way that our relationship can evolve with our parents as they grow older is an odd dynamic to navigate. While you were once the one being taken care of, you might start to find them relying on you more and more, even for basic daily needs. When that starts to happen, it may be worth taking the time to sit down with them and have some real conversations about their future. Here are a few to consider.
Your Approach To Their Health
As we get older, our health becomes a more pressing issue. Aside from doing more to maintain our well-being through diet and physical activity, managing the conditions that become more common as we age is important, too. You might want to talk to your parent about starting to accompany them to medical appointments and assisting with the management of their medication, especially if they have started to show some difficulty doing it themselves.
Adjusting Life To Changing Needs
There are also going to be changes to physical and cognitive abilities that might determine that your parent isn’t able to take care of their own needs fully from now on. When that happens, you have to have an open and ongoing conversation about how to adapt your life to meet those needs. Whether this means adapting their home to make it more accessible to them, moving your parents into your family home, or looking at a care facility depends on your own circumstances. If professional care becomes necessary, it’s vital that families remain involved in care planning to ensure your loved one receives personalised support. However, if it is becoming clearer that they’re not able to meet their own needs any longer, you can’t ignore the need for change.
When They Can’t Make Decisions
At some point, especially if they have any chronic health conditions, your parent may not be able to make decisions for themselves. It’s important to address the topic of lasting power of attorney ahead of time, as you need someone who is able to make financial and healthcare decisions for them before they lose that capability. Ensuring that you are there to provide a trusted vector for their wishes, and getting a clear understanding of what those wishes are can offer both of you peace of mind.
How The Estate Will Be Handled
You should not stand on ceremony when it comes to discussing inheritance and estate. A lack of a clear plan can breed confusion and even resentment among members of the family. Without trying to push them in any given direction, talk to your parents about their will, asking if they have an up-to-date one that accurately reflects their wishes.
If they don’t, find them a legal professional who can help them run through it. Depending on the estate, you might also need to look into options like trusts and charitable donations to manage inheritance tax.
The prospect of ageing, losing our independence, and becoming reliant on others can be a very sensitive topic. It’s important to maintain an approach of understanding and empathy when discussing these topics and to make sure that your parent’s wishes are always an important factor in any decision you make.
