*This is a collaborative post.
Having kids is the single most life-changing event that a person can experience. From the moment that you find out you’re pregnant through to the day you bring your little one home for the first time, the changes keep coming thick and fast during parenthood. Suddenly being responsible for another human life is a huge change in itself. But add to that the lack of sleep, changes to your body, and the hormonal shifts you experience in early parenthood, and it’s no wonder it can feel overwhelming at times. Amongst all of these changes, there is one constant, and that’s your partner. However, while your partner may still be there everyday, significant changes can also occur in your relationship once you make the transition from being a couple to become a family.
Navigating all these changes while trying to keep your relationship alive is a huge challenge, but it is achievable. Here are some tips to help you keep your relationship alive after welcoming kids:
Be a Team
When family life gets stressful, it’s easy to get snappy with each other and start blaming each other for everything and anything that goes wrong at home. It’s so easy to fall into this cycle of bickering and resentment, especially if you feel that you do more than your fair share of childcare and chores. However, it’s so important to remind yourselves that you are a team. Working together and communicating your needs will make you a team, reduce stress, and ultimately strengthen your relationship even further.
Take Intimacy at Your Own Pace
Some couples take many years to regain an intimate relationship in the bedroom after having kids. Sleepless nights with unsettled babies and toddlers, and the exhaustion of family life can all leave little time and motivation for having sex.
With so much going on in your life, it is vital to take intimacy at your own pace. You may not feel physically ready to be intimate. But keep in mind, your partner may be feeling the same way. If your partner is under a lot of stress, this can impact his desire to have sex and his performance. He may have been researching pills to make you last longer in bed and have his own concerns about being intimate again. Communicating with each other is key to avoid resentment building up. Taking things at your own pace doesn’t mean that you need to stop all physical contact. Being affectionate with each other by holding hands, cuddling, and kissing each other goodbye in the mornings are all ways to maintain your intimacy without intercourse.
Plan Together Time
The concept of a date night may sound cheesy, but there’s a good reason so many couples have them. Planning a date in advance is a great way to ensure that you actually get out of the house and enjoy quality time together without interruptions. This time together is really valuable and a great way to stay connected and enjoy each other’s company.
