You Can’t Embarrass Me Because I’m A Mum

I have come to realise that since I have jumped into the fabulous world which is motherhood, I no longer give a sh*t.
By this I mean, I’ve become immune to that feeling of wanting to be swallowed up by a hole in the floor. I no longer gush with flushed cheeks at a quirky comment.

 

You can’t embarrass me because I’m a Mum

From the moment you are expecting that little bundle of joy, your dignity takes a bashing. Strangers checking your twinkle and having a prod to see how far you have dilated and if they can feel the babies head. You might even get a few students thrown into the mix (as I did) to come and have a little nosy down there!

barbie

So after the initial shock of majority of the NHS recognising me by my twinkle rather than my face! We move on to meltdowns.

 

Tantrums

Yes those terrible tantrums. The meltdowns in Tesco used to be the best. Little one would take a fancy to something and grab it. It was then his property. Until I would gently try and take it away that is.  His hand would form a tightly closed, white knuckled fist. All hell would then break loose and he would turn pyshco on me. And don’t you always get those types who walk past and give you a sneering look? You know the look of disapproval that you should have more control of your child. And all the time you imagine slapping them across their smug chops during your moment of frustration.
But then a fellow parent passes by. They share a sympathetic smile, for they know too what it’s like to tame the beast.

 

Social situations

I recall my son having a chat with another little boy as they sat in the waiting room of the hospital. My son comments “My mummy can be so grumpy when me and my brother are naughty”. The other little boys response was, “My mummy nags my daddy all the time!” Awkward!
I don’t think either of us mums could be more pleased as we were when our sons names were called!

You Can't Embarrass Me Because I'm A Mum

Then there was the time I went into a shop with little one and asked him what he would like to drink. He casually turned around and replied “I think I’ll have a beer mummy”. I don’t think so son! The whole shop is smiling away at the humour of your little one and again there is that one person who looks at you in disbelief, thinking that you actually let your child consume such things. Ah sod off!

 

Invasion Of Privacy

I don’t know about you, but every time I go for a bath the bathroom turns into an open house. It’s busier than the M6! I’m sitting there trying to retain my modesty, while the whole household comes and goes.
Just as I lay back and relax to the lovely scent of my candles, grabbing my 5 minutes of heavenly bliss, little one decides to come in for a chat and a poo!  And to top it off, whilst in midstream of taking a dump, points straight to my boobs and tells me “They are massive boobies mummy”, no hiding in the bubbles here!

bathtub

 

Saying the unthinkable

Since being a mum of two boys I have been driven to saying the most unthinkable things too.

Such as “No, stop stretching your willy” or “Don’t lick your brothers face” and “Put it away!” I’m not referring to the toys either!
I even recall shouting “Why has the dog got Toy Story pants on?”  You name it I’ve yelled it.

So you see I don’t give a rats arse anymore. You can’t embarrass me, because I’m a mum!

 

Can you relate to this? Are you hardened to embarrassment since being a parent?

36 Comments

  1. Dean of Little Steps September 9, 2016 / 11:25 am

    Made me giggle! That’s so true. Anyone who has given birth will know that yep, your dignity is left by the door. They ought to put a sign in the maternity ward that says “Please leave your dignity here, thank you!” 😉
    Dean of Little Steps recently posted…The School RunMy Profile

  2. Fi Ni Neachtain September 9, 2016 / 11:35 am

    Haha I love this! I really couldn’t give a flying rats arse anymore either, I think you really do lose all your dignity when the world at it’s dog get to prod and poke you throughout pregnancy, labour and delivery and then being observed for the next few years by little people who don’t know the meaning of the word privacy! 🙂

    • Jayne
      Author
      September 9, 2016 / 11:52 am

      Haha Thanks Fi! You really do quit giving a crap don’t you?!
      Thanks for popping by 😊

  3. Agent54 September 9, 2016 / 1:46 pm

    I haven’t thrown a tantrum in a while.

  4. joanna September 9, 2016 / 4:22 pm

    Lol I can relate to a few of these my son is at the terrible twos stage a bit early and his tantrums are horrific I dread the time he does it in a supermarket.

    • Jayne
      Author
      September 12, 2016 / 10:21 am

      Oh good luck! My youngest is heading for the terrible two’s, although I think he’s already there!

    • Jayne
      Author
      September 12, 2016 / 10:21 am

      Glad it made you smile Nikki.
      Thanks for commenting 🙂

  5. Kim Carberry September 9, 2016 / 5:54 pm

    hahaha! This made me chuckle…Yes I can relate!
    I don’t think I have had a bath without any interruptions in about 12 years! lol
    Kim Carberry recently posted…Back to school. #WotWMy Profile

    • Jayne
      Author
      September 12, 2016 / 10:22 am

      Haha! Glad it gave you a giggle 🙂 x

    • Jayne
      Author
      September 12, 2016 / 10:25 am

      Yes, all dignity buggers off!

  6. Kara Guppy September 10, 2016 / 3:40 pm

    Yes, all dignity lost when having children sadly. I was that parent today who was looked at with sympathy after asking the kids to calm down half a dozen times – I had to leave the supermarket fast!
    Kara Guppy recently posted…#Vloject52 2016 – Week 37My Profile

    • Jayne
      Author
      September 12, 2016 / 10:27 am

      It certainly is Kara!
      Oh I totally get how that feels, we do the supermarket tantrums quite well!

    • Jayne
      Author
      September 12, 2016 / 10:28 am

      It really is Stella! Thanks for popping by

  7. clairejustine September 10, 2016 / 7:47 pm

    Hehe, love this post!! Having 4 children the tantrums in the busy supermarkets stick in my mind well 🙂 I remember when having 2young children and they discovered spaghetti for the first time on holiday, the table was covered in it and 2 ladies stopped and gave us the dirtiest looks lol
    clairejustine recently posted…Mollie : Shadow Shot Sunday..My Profile

  8. Natalia September 10, 2016 / 8:01 pm

    hahah this is a great post! it’s lovely that your life as a mom is full of fun x

  9. Chloe Ciliberto September 10, 2016 / 8:24 pm

    This is absolutely brilliant. I can relate to all this completely. There is nothing that can embarrass me anymore. x

    • Jayne
      Author
      September 12, 2016 / 10:28 am

      They don’t hold back none, that’s for sure!

  10. kerry norris September 11, 2016 / 9:21 pm

    Oh can totally relate now. The amount of mishaps i’ve had during breastfeeding and flashing people and I now don’t get embarrassed. I just shake it off lol x

    • Jayne
      Author
      September 12, 2016 / 10:29 am

      Hehe, Good for you!
      Thanks for commenting x

  11. The London Mum September 12, 2016 / 8:27 pm

    Oh yes, I can totally relate hahah. Literally there’s not one thing my son can do that can make me embarrassed

  12. Zena's Suitcase September 13, 2016 / 4:01 pm

    This really made me laugh. I’ve said some of those lines too, maybe not about the dog and his pants but we have definetly had face licking
    Zena’s Suitcase recently posted…What Is Cruise Food Like?My Profile

  13. Debbie September 14, 2016 / 1:02 pm

    Hi Jayne, love it! When we have babies twinkles become public property, or at least it seems that way. And as for tugging of willy’s, I think my most embarrassing moment was when my son was about six years old and we were stood at the checkout in the supermarket. We were patiently waiting in the queue, when I turned to see him stretching his willy like it was one of those stretchy, rubber toys. After that nothing much embarrassed me anymore.

    xx
    Debbie recently posted…Common Garden SnailMy Profile

  14. Janine Dolan September 15, 2016 / 12:25 pm

    Same as you… I don’t care anymore. I don’t take the kids to grocery shopping though. I do that on my own every week. Just to avoid those situations.
    Janine Dolan recently posted…Siblings in SeptemberMy Profile

  15. Georgina September 15, 2016 / 7:29 pm

    Oh this made me laugh! All of your points are so true! Especially saying the unthinkable haha. It’s true we just get used to it all xxx

  16. Susan Mann September 15, 2016 / 11:46 pm

    Lol I can relate to quite a few of these my daughter is at the terrible threes stage and can be a right little terror xx

  17. Stephanie September 17, 2016 / 5:05 pm

    Oh yes! My non parent friends get so embarrassed about so many things! It doesn’t bother me at all! I have 3 kids, which 2 was a set of twins my privacy and body was invaded in so many ways!!!
    Stephanie recently posted…Welcome Gus the GoldendoodleMy Profile

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